Classic gags discovered in ancient Roman joke book
We may admire the satires of Horace and Lucilius, but the ancient Romans haven't hitherto been thought of as masters of the one-liner. This could be about to change, however, after the discovery of a classical joke book.
Celebrated classics professor Mary Beard has brought to light a volume more than 1,600 years old, which she says shows the Romans not to be the "pompous, bridge-building toga wearers" they're often seen as, but rather a race ready to laugh at themselves.
Written in Greek, Philogelos, or The Laughter Lover, dates to the third or fourth century AD, and contains some 260 jokes which Beard said are "very similar" to the jokes we have today, although peopled with different stereotypes – the "egghead", or absent-minded professor, is a particular figure of fun, along with the eunuch, and people with hernias or bad breath.
"They're also poking fun at certain types of foreigners – people from Abdera, a city in Thrace, were very, very stupid, almost as stupid as [they thought] eggheads [were]," said Beard.
An ancient version of Monty Python's dead parrot sketch sees a man buy a slave, who dies shortly afterwards. When he complains to the seller, he is told: "He didn't die when I owned him."
Beard's favourite joke is a version of the Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman variety, with a barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor taking a journey together. They have to camp overnight, so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me."
"It's one of the better ones," said Beard. "It has a nice identity resonance ... A lot of the jokes play on the obviously quite problematic idea in Roman times of knowing who you are." Another "identity" joke sees a man meet an acquaintance and say "it's funny, I was told you were dead". He says "well, you can see I'm still alive." But the first man disputes this on the grounds that "the man who told me you were dead is much more reliable than you".
"Interestingly they are quite understandable to us, whereas reading Punch from the 19th century is completely baffling to me," said Beard.
But she queried whether we are finding the same things funny as the Romans would have done. Telling a joke to one of her graduate classes, in which an absent-minded professor is asked by a friend to bring back two 15-year-old slave boys from his trip abroad, and replies "fine, and if I can't find two 15-year-olds I will bring you one 30-year-old," she found they "chortled no end".
"They thought it was a sex joke, equivalent to someone being asked for two 30-year-old women, and being told okay, I'll bring you one 60-year-old. But I suspect it's a joke about numbers – are numbers real? If so two 15-year-olds should be like one 30-year-old – it's about the strange unnaturalness of the number system."
Beard, who discovered the title while carrying out research for a new book she's working on about humour in the ancient world, pointed out that when we're told a joke, we make a huge effort to make it funny for ourselves, or it's an admission of failure. "Are we doing that to these Roman jokes? Were they actually laughing at something quite different?" .
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Secret Message found in Lincoln Watch
WASHINGTON -- Curators at the National Museum of American History have settled a 148-year-old mystery once and for all.
On Tuesday, they opened up a pocket watch that belonged to President Abraham Lincoln and discovered a hidden message long rumored to be inside.
It read: "April 13, 1861. Fort Sumter was attacked by the rebels on the above date. J. Dillon." It then read: "April 13, 1861. Thank God we have a government. Jonathan Dillon."
Dillon, a watchmaker who was repairing Lincoln's timepiece, reportedly said he was moved to write a message inside after the first shots of the Civil War were fired at Fort Sumter in South Carolina.
The story has been passed down through the Dillon family and was reported in 1906 by The New York Times.
On Tuesday, they opened up a pocket watch that belonged to President Abraham Lincoln and discovered a hidden message long rumored to be inside.
It read: "April 13, 1861. Fort Sumter was attacked by the rebels on the above date. J. Dillon." It then read: "April 13, 1861. Thank God we have a government. Jonathan Dillon."
Dillon, a watchmaker who was repairing Lincoln's timepiece, reportedly said he was moved to write a message inside after the first shots of the Civil War were fired at Fort Sumter in South Carolina.
The story has been passed down through the Dillon family and was reported in 1906 by The New York Times.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Geronimo’s Heirs Sue Secret Yale Society Over His Skull
By JAMES C. McKINLEY Jr.
HOUSTON — The descendants of Geronimo have sued Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University with ties to the Bush family, charging that its members robbed his grave in 1918 and have kept his skull in a glass case ever since.
The claim is part of a lawsuit filed in federal court in Washington on Tuesday, the 100th anniversary of Geronimo’s death. The Apache warrior’s heirs are seeking to recover all his remains, wherever they may be, and have them transferred to a new grave at the headwaters of the Gila River in New Mexico, where Geronimo was born and wished to be interred.
“I believe strongly from my heart that his spirit was never released,” Geronimo’s great-grandson Harlyn Geronimo, 61, told reporters Tuesday at the National Press Club.
Geronimo died a prisoner of war at Fort Sill, Okla., in 1909. A longstanding tradition among members of Skull and Bones holds that Prescott S. Bush — father of President George Bush and grandfather of President George W. Bush — broke into the grave with some classmates during World War I and made off with the skull, two bones, a bridle and some stirrups, all of which were put on display at the group’s clubhouse in New Haven, known as the Tomb.
The story gained some validity in 2005, when a historian discovered a letter written in 1918 from one Skull and Bones member to another saying the skull had been taken from a grave at Fort Sill along with several pieces of tack for a horse.
Ramsey Clark, a former United States attorney general who is representing Geronimo’s family, acknowledged he had no hard proof that the story was true. Yet he said he hoped the court would clear up the matter.
Tom Conroy, a spokesman for Yale, declined to comment on the lawsuit but was quick to note that the Tomb was not on university property.
Members of the Skull and Bones, who guard their organization’s secrecy, could not be reached for comment. Though the society is not officially affiliated with the university, many of Yale’s most powerful alumni are members, among them both Bush presidents and Senator John Kerry, Democrat of Massachusetts.
“Of all the items rumored to be in the Skull and Bones’s possession, Geronimo’s skull is one of the more plausible ones,” said Alexandra Robbins, the author of “Secrets of the Tomb” (Little Brown 2002), a book about the society. “There is a skull encased in a glass display when you walk in the door of the Tomb, and they call it Geronimo.”
Some local historians and anthropologists in Oklahoma have cast doubt on the tale, noting that no independent evidence has been found to suggest that Geronimo’s grave was disturbed in 1918. Ten years later, the army covered the grave with concrete and replaced a simple wooden headstone with a stone monument, making it nearly impregnable.
Geronimo, whose given name was Goyathlay, put up fierce resistance to white settlers, fighting the Mexican and United States armies for nearly three decades. He finally surrendered, with only 35 men left, to Gen. Nelson A. Miles on the New Mexico-Arizona border in 1886 and spent the rest of his life in prison, dying of pneumonia.
Not all Apaches want to move his remains to New Mexico. The branch of the tribe that settled at Fort Sill after Geronimo died is fighting to keep the grave where it is.
“There is nothing to be gained by digging up the dead,” said Jeff Houser, the chairman of the Fort Sill Apache Tribe. “It will not repair the damage to the tribe caused by its removal and imprisonment.”
HOUSTON — The descendants of Geronimo have sued Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University with ties to the Bush family, charging that its members robbed his grave in 1918 and have kept his skull in a glass case ever since.
The claim is part of a lawsuit filed in federal court in Washington on Tuesday, the 100th anniversary of Geronimo’s death. The Apache warrior’s heirs are seeking to recover all his remains, wherever they may be, and have them transferred to a new grave at the headwaters of the Gila River in New Mexico, where Geronimo was born and wished to be interred.
“I believe strongly from my heart that his spirit was never released,” Geronimo’s great-grandson Harlyn Geronimo, 61, told reporters Tuesday at the National Press Club.
Geronimo died a prisoner of war at Fort Sill, Okla., in 1909. A longstanding tradition among members of Skull and Bones holds that Prescott S. Bush — father of President George Bush and grandfather of President George W. Bush — broke into the grave with some classmates during World War I and made off with the skull, two bones, a bridle and some stirrups, all of which were put on display at the group’s clubhouse in New Haven, known as the Tomb.
The story gained some validity in 2005, when a historian discovered a letter written in 1918 from one Skull and Bones member to another saying the skull had been taken from a grave at Fort Sill along with several pieces of tack for a horse.
Ramsey Clark, a former United States attorney general who is representing Geronimo’s family, acknowledged he had no hard proof that the story was true. Yet he said he hoped the court would clear up the matter.
Tom Conroy, a spokesman for Yale, declined to comment on the lawsuit but was quick to note that the Tomb was not on university property.
Members of the Skull and Bones, who guard their organization’s secrecy, could not be reached for comment. Though the society is not officially affiliated with the university, many of Yale’s most powerful alumni are members, among them both Bush presidents and Senator John Kerry, Democrat of Massachusetts.
“Of all the items rumored to be in the Skull and Bones’s possession, Geronimo’s skull is one of the more plausible ones,” said Alexandra Robbins, the author of “Secrets of the Tomb” (Little Brown 2002), a book about the society. “There is a skull encased in a glass display when you walk in the door of the Tomb, and they call it Geronimo.”
Some local historians and anthropologists in Oklahoma have cast doubt on the tale, noting that no independent evidence has been found to suggest that Geronimo’s grave was disturbed in 1918. Ten years later, the army covered the grave with concrete and replaced a simple wooden headstone with a stone monument, making it nearly impregnable.
Geronimo, whose given name was Goyathlay, put up fierce resistance to white settlers, fighting the Mexican and United States armies for nearly three decades. He finally surrendered, with only 35 men left, to Gen. Nelson A. Miles on the New Mexico-Arizona border in 1886 and spent the rest of his life in prison, dying of pneumonia.
Not all Apaches want to move his remains to New Mexico. The branch of the tribe that settled at Fort Sill after Geronimo died is fighting to keep the grave where it is.
“There is nothing to be gained by digging up the dead,” said Jeff Houser, the chairman of the Fort Sill Apache Tribe. “It will not repair the damage to the tribe caused by its removal and imprisonment.”
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
10 Weird Facts About Presidents
In case you didn’t get enough Presidential Facts from the mag, I have this whole collection of strange facts I’ve written down about U.S. Presidents. None of them really have anything to do with one another so I’ve never been able to tie them into a themed post before. But since it’s Presidents’ Day, I don’t think I really need a theme other than that.
1. James Monroe once chased the Secretary of the Treasury out of the White House with a pair of fire tongs.
2. Andrew Jackson may have looked like a hardened old soul, but he was quite the merry prankster: when he was in school, he invited a bunch of prostitutes to the annual Christmas Ball, just because he knew how much it would freak out all of the “proper” attendees. He also liked to move outhouses around so when people went out to use their bathroom, the bathroom was no longer there.
3. John Quincy Adams liked skinny dipping in the Potomac. He thought bathing and swimming in ice-cold water was good for his constitution.
4. Martin Van Buren’s autobiography doesn’t mention his wife even once.
5. Queen Victoria once declared that Millard Fillmore was the most handsome man she had ever seen. What do you guys think? Was Millard a hottie? My assessment: no.
6. James Buchanan is the only U.S. President to remain a bachelor his entire life. Some speculated that he was gay, and his extremely close relationship with Congressman William Rufus King didn’t do anything to dispel the rumors. The two of them were often referred to as “Mr. Buchanan and his wife.”
7. Rutherford B. Hayes and his family spent every single evening in the White House singing gospel hymns.
8. William McKinley’s wife suffered from epilepsy. When she had seizures at public events and dinners, McKinley would just drape his handkerchief over her face and carry on with whatever matters were at hand.
9. Teddy Roosevelt was a big eater. It wasn’t uncommon for him to take down a dozen eggs for breakfast.
10. Lyndon B. Johnson wore a watch with an alarm on it and liked to set it off when he got bored listening to speeches.
1. James Monroe once chased the Secretary of the Treasury out of the White House with a pair of fire tongs.
2. Andrew Jackson may have looked like a hardened old soul, but he was quite the merry prankster: when he was in school, he invited a bunch of prostitutes to the annual Christmas Ball, just because he knew how much it would freak out all of the “proper” attendees. He also liked to move outhouses around so when people went out to use their bathroom, the bathroom was no longer there.
3. John Quincy Adams liked skinny dipping in the Potomac. He thought bathing and swimming in ice-cold water was good for his constitution.
4. Martin Van Buren’s autobiography doesn’t mention his wife even once.
5. Queen Victoria once declared that Millard Fillmore was the most handsome man she had ever seen. What do you guys think? Was Millard a hottie? My assessment: no.
6. James Buchanan is the only U.S. President to remain a bachelor his entire life. Some speculated that he was gay, and his extremely close relationship with Congressman William Rufus King didn’t do anything to dispel the rumors. The two of them were often referred to as “Mr. Buchanan and his wife.”
7. Rutherford B. Hayes and his family spent every single evening in the White House singing gospel hymns.
8. William McKinley’s wife suffered from epilepsy. When she had seizures at public events and dinners, McKinley would just drape his handkerchief over her face and carry on with whatever matters were at hand.
9. Teddy Roosevelt was a big eater. It wasn’t uncommon for him to take down a dozen eggs for breakfast.
10. Lyndon B. Johnson wore a watch with an alarm on it and liked to set it off when he got bored listening to speeches.
Monday, February 16, 2009
WWII Monopoly
Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British airmen found
themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the
Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape.
Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful
and accurate map, one showing not
Only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses'
where A POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when
you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet,
they turn into mush. Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the
idea of
printing escape maps on silk. It 's durable, can be scrunched-up into
tiny wads, And unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise
whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that
had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John
Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was
only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the
popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and
pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE
packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible
Old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of
sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to
each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were
(regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into
such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing
piece. As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also
managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass 2. A two-part
metal file that could easily be screwed together 3. Useful amounts
of genuine high-denomination German, Italian,and French currency
hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised before taking off on
their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by
means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary
printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an
estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly
sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely since the
British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in
still another future war. The story wasn't declassified until 2007
when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm
itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card!
themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the
Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape.
Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful
and accurate map, one showing not
Only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses'
where A POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when
you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet,
they turn into mush. Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the
idea of
printing escape maps on silk. It 's durable, can be scrunched-up into
tiny wads, And unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise
whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that
had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John
Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was
only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the
popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and
pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE
packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible
Old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of
sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to
each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were
(regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into
such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing
piece. As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also
managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass 2. A two-part
metal file that could easily be screwed together 3. Useful amounts
of genuine high-denomination German, Italian,and French currency
hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised before taking off on
their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by
means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary
printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an
estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly
sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely since the
British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in
still another future war. The story wasn't declassified until 2007
when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm
itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card!
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